Why All Your College Priorities Were Wrong (And That's Totally Normal)
Looking back at what seemed important then vs. what actually matters now
By
Josh Felgoise
May 30, 2025
"My priorities at that time were drink and like rush for our fraternity, which is so ridiculous that that was my priority at the time. Sorry mom and dad."
Luke's honest reflection on his college priorities reveals something universal: what consumes your attention in college often has zero relevance to your actual life. His candid admission - followed by an apology to his parents - captures the awkward realization every graduate eventually has.
The College Priority Reality Check
What Seemed Crucial Then
Luke's sophomore priorities were typical for many college students:
Drinking and partying as primary social activities
Fraternity rush and Greek life involvement
Social status within campus hierarchies
Meeting short-term social needs over long-term planning
These weren't unusual priorities - they were practically universal on many college campuses.
The Retrospective Cringe
"Which is so ridiculous that that was my priority at the time."
Luke's assessment of his past priorities shows the natural evolution of perspective. What felt monumentally important at 19 or 20 now seems trivial or even embarrassing when viewed from adult life.
This isn't unique to Luke - it's part of the normal development process from college student to functioning adult.
Why College Priorities Are So Off
The Bubble Effect
College creates an artificial environment where:
Social dynamics feel more important than they actually are
Campus hierarchies seem to matter beyond graduation
Short-term thinking dominates because consequences feel distant
Peer influence is concentrated and intense
The Stakes Illusion
In college, social situations feel high-stakes because:
Your social circle is limited to campus
Reputation seems permanent within that small world
Social activities are the primary way to meet people
Status symbols (like fraternity membership) appear to determine your worth
The Universal College Experience
Everyone's Priorities Were Wrong
Luke's realization that his priorities were "ridiculous" is something almost every college graduate experiences. Common misplaced priorities include:
Greek life drama that seemed earth-shattering
Campus social hierarchies that dissolved after graduation
Party reputations that meant nothing in job interviews
Relationship drama with people you never see anymore
Minor academic decisions that felt monumentally important
The Four-Year Cycle
"You realize that by like halfway through junior year, you're like, yeah, kind of maybe senior year. I definitely did."
Luke identifies the natural timeline of this realization - most people start recognizing the disconnect between college priorities and real-world relevance during their later college years.
Looking Back vs. Looking Forward
The Learning Value
While Luke calls his priorities "ridiculous," the college experience still had value:
Social skills development through various interactions
Independence building away from family
Friendship formation that can last beyond college
Self-discovery through different experiences and groups
The Transition Challenge
The hard part isn't that college priorities were wrong - it's that you have to develop new priorities without clear guidance:
Career focus becomes more important than social status
Financial responsibility matters more than party reputation
Genuine relationships become more valuable than large social circles
Personal growth takes precedence over fitting in
What Actually Matters After College
Real Adult Priorities
Luke's current life shows how priorities naturally evolve:
Career development and professional growth
Financial stability and smart investments (like buying an apartment)
Health and fitness through consistent routines
Meaningful relationships rather than broad social networks
Personal development and building useful skills
The Skills That Transfer
Some college experiences do have lasting value:
Social confidence from navigating different groups
Communication skills from various interactions
Independence from living away from home
Problem-solving from handling various college challenges
Resilience from dealing with social and academic pressures
The Parental Perspective
"Sorry Mom and Dad"
Luke's apology to his parents reflects the realization that:
Your parents were probably right about some things
The money spent on education could have been used more wisely if you'd focused differently
Their advice that seemed irrelevant actually had merit
Their concerns about your priorities were justified
The Generational Gap
Parents often struggle to understand college priorities because:
Their college experience was different
The stakes for career and financial success feel higher now
Social media has amplified the intensity of college social life
Economic realities make post-graduation transition more challenging
Your Priority Evolution Action Plan
If You're Still in College:
Recognize this is normal - everyone's priorities are a bit off
Balance social and practical - don't abandon fun, but start thinking ahead
Build some real skills alongside social experiences
Consider the long-term occasionally, even if it's not your main focus
If You're a Recent Graduate:
Don't be too hard on yourself about past priorities
Extract lessons from college experiences without dwelling on regrets
Focus on building adult priorities and skills
Use social skills from college in professional and dating contexts
If You're Further Out:
Help younger people navigate this transition
Share perspective without being preachy
Remember the learning value of even misguided experiences
Focus on current growth rather than past mistakes
The Bigger Picture
Normal Development Process
Luke's priority evolution is completely normal. Most people go through phases of:
High school: Focused on getting into college
Early college: Social integration and finding your place
Mid-college: Enjoying newfound freedom and social opportunities
Late college: Starting to think about "real world"
Post-graduation: Rapid priority adjustment to adult realities
The Value of Perspective
Looking back on college priorities with mild embarrassment is actually healthy because it shows:
Growth and maturation
Ability to reassess and adjust
Learning from experience
Development of better judgment
The Bottom Line
Luke's reflection on his college priorities - "drink and like rush for our fraternity, which is so ridiculous" - captures a universal experience of growing up and gaining perspective.
The point isn't that you should regret your college priorities or feel bad about focusing on social life during those years. College is supposed to be a time of exploration, social development, and yes, some fun that might seem silly later.
The real value comes from recognizing how your priorities have evolved and using that self-awareness to continue growing. What seemed important at 20 doesn't have to define you at 25, and what matters at 25 will probably seem different at 30.
The key is being honest about this evolution - like Luke's candid admission and apology to his parents - and using that honesty to make better choices going forward.
Everyone's college priorities were a little ridiculous in retrospect. That's not a bug in the system - it's a feature of growing up.
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