Why All Your College Priorities Were Wrong (And That's Totally Normal)

Looking back at what seemed important then vs. what actually matters now

By
Josh Felgoise

May 30, 2025

"My priorities at that time were drink and like rush for our fraternity, which is so ridiculous that that was my priority at the time. Sorry mom and dad."

Luke's honest reflection on his college priorities reveals something universal: what consumes your attention in college often has zero relevance to your actual life. His candid admission - followed by an apology to his parents - captures the awkward realization every graduate eventually has.

The College Priority Reality Check

What Seemed Crucial Then

Luke's sophomore priorities were typical for many college students:

  • Drinking and partying as primary social activities

  • Fraternity rush and Greek life involvement

  • Social status within campus hierarchies

  • Meeting short-term social needs over long-term planning

These weren't unusual priorities - they were practically universal on many college campuses.

The Retrospective Cringe

"Which is so ridiculous that that was my priority at the time."

Luke's assessment of his past priorities shows the natural evolution of perspective. What felt monumentally important at 19 or 20 now seems trivial or even embarrassing when viewed from adult life.

This isn't unique to Luke - it's part of the normal development process from college student to functioning adult.

Why College Priorities Are So Off

The Bubble Effect

College creates an artificial environment where:

  • Social dynamics feel more important than they actually are

  • Campus hierarchies seem to matter beyond graduation

  • Short-term thinking dominates because consequences feel distant

  • Peer influence is concentrated and intense

The Stakes Illusion

In college, social situations feel high-stakes because:

  • Your social circle is limited to campus

  • Reputation seems permanent within that small world

  • Social activities are the primary way to meet people

  • Status symbols (like fraternity membership) appear to determine your worth

The Universal College Experience

Everyone's Priorities Were Wrong

Luke's realization that his priorities were "ridiculous" is something almost every college graduate experiences. Common misplaced priorities include:

  • Greek life drama that seemed earth-shattering

  • Campus social hierarchies that dissolved after graduation

  • Party reputations that meant nothing in job interviews

  • Relationship drama with people you never see anymore

  • Minor academic decisions that felt monumentally important

The Four-Year Cycle

"You realize that by like halfway through junior year, you're like, yeah, kind of maybe senior year. I definitely did."

Luke identifies the natural timeline of this realization - most people start recognizing the disconnect between college priorities and real-world relevance during their later college years.

Looking Back vs. Looking Forward

The Learning Value

While Luke calls his priorities "ridiculous," the college experience still had value:

  • Social skills development through various interactions

  • Independence building away from family

  • Friendship formation that can last beyond college

  • Self-discovery through different experiences and groups

The Transition Challenge

The hard part isn't that college priorities were wrong - it's that you have to develop new priorities without clear guidance:

  • Career focus becomes more important than social status

  • Financial responsibility matters more than party reputation

  • Genuine relationships become more valuable than large social circles

  • Personal growth takes precedence over fitting in

What Actually Matters After College

Real Adult Priorities

Luke's current life shows how priorities naturally evolve:

  • Career development and professional growth

  • Financial stability and smart investments (like buying an apartment)

  • Health and fitness through consistent routines

  • Meaningful relationships rather than broad social networks

  • Personal development and building useful skills

The Skills That Transfer

Some college experiences do have lasting value:

  • Social confidence from navigating different groups

  • Communication skills from various interactions

  • Independence from living away from home

  • Problem-solving from handling various college challenges

  • Resilience from dealing with social and academic pressures

The Parental Perspective

"Sorry Mom and Dad"

Luke's apology to his parents reflects the realization that:

  • Your parents were probably right about some things

  • The money spent on education could have been used more wisely if you'd focused differently

  • Their advice that seemed irrelevant actually had merit

  • Their concerns about your priorities were justified

The Generational Gap

Parents often struggle to understand college priorities because:

  • Their college experience was different

  • The stakes for career and financial success feel higher now

  • Social media has amplified the intensity of college social life

  • Economic realities make post-graduation transition more challenging

Your Priority Evolution Action Plan

If You're Still in College:

  1. Recognize this is normal - everyone's priorities are a bit off

  2. Balance social and practical - don't abandon fun, but start thinking ahead

  3. Build some real skills alongside social experiences

  4. Consider the long-term occasionally, even if it's not your main focus

If You're a Recent Graduate:

  1. Don't be too hard on yourself about past priorities

  2. Extract lessons from college experiences without dwelling on regrets

  3. Focus on building adult priorities and skills

  4. Use social skills from college in professional and dating contexts

If You're Further Out:

  1. Help younger people navigate this transition

  2. Share perspective without being preachy

  3. Remember the learning value of even misguided experiences

  4. Focus on current growth rather than past mistakes

The Bigger Picture

Normal Development Process

Luke's priority evolution is completely normal. Most people go through phases of:

  • High school: Focused on getting into college

  • Early college: Social integration and finding your place

  • Mid-college: Enjoying newfound freedom and social opportunities

  • Late college: Starting to think about "real world"

  • Post-graduation: Rapid priority adjustment to adult realities

The Value of Perspective

Looking back on college priorities with mild embarrassment is actually healthy because it shows:

  • Growth and maturation

  • Ability to reassess and adjust

  • Learning from experience

  • Development of better judgment

The Bottom Line

Luke's reflection on his college priorities - "drink and like rush for our fraternity, which is so ridiculous" - captures a universal experience of growing up and gaining perspective.

The point isn't that you should regret your college priorities or feel bad about focusing on social life during those years. College is supposed to be a time of exploration, social development, and yes, some fun that might seem silly later.

The real value comes from recognizing how your priorities have evolved and using that self-awareness to continue growing. What seemed important at 20 doesn't have to define you at 25, and what matters at 25 will probably seem different at 30.

The key is being honest about this evolution - like Luke's candid admission and apology to his parents - and using that honesty to make better choices going forward.

Everyone's college priorities were a little ridiculous in retrospect. That's not a bug in the system - it's a feature of growing up.

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