How I Turned My Fears Into Reality (And How to Avoid the Same Mistake)

The Self-Fulfilling Prophecy I Created

During a recent work call, I experienced intense imposter syndrome. I was the youngest person there by far, sitting with people in their 40s and up, feeling completely out of place.

Instead of speaking up when I had something valuable to contribute, I chose silence. And in doing so, I learned a harsh lesson about self-fulfilling prophecies.

The Thought That Started Everything

Here's what went through my head during that call: "If you decide that you're not good enough to be there, then your wish will come true. I can almost guarantee that."

I didn't realize it at the time, but I was actively proving my own fears correct.

How I Made My Fears Come True

My internal dialogue went like this: "I feel like everybody on this call is more senior than me and therefore knows more than I do, so I should let them talk and I'll stay quiet."

Even though I had something to say - something I genuinely thought would add value - I avoided speaking because I believed my comment was less valuable and wouldn't be taken as seriously.

And then it hit me: Congratulations, you've done it. You've self-diagnosed and successfully fallen sick with the imaginary imposter syndrome.

The Reality I Created

By choosing silence, I had:

• Allowed my comment to be "sucked back into the void"

• Stuck with just saying "yeah, cool, yeah" to back the guy with years of experience on me

• Proven to everyone (and myself) that maybe I really didn't belong there

• Turned my negative thoughts into my actual reality

How This Cycle Works

When you're convinced you don't belong and choose not to contribute:

1. You have a valuable thought but dismiss it as unworthy

2. You stay silent to avoid potential embarrassment

3. You contribute nothing to the conversation

4. Others wonder why you're even there

5. Your fears become reality - you really aren't adding value

As I put it: "Your thought will soon become your reality and you will be sucked into those negative and all-consuming thoughts, just as I was."

The Moment I Caught Myself

Thankfully, a second opportunity arose during that call. I had another comment, another thought that I believed would add to the conversation. But this time, I asked myself a different question:

Should I go with the path of "yeah, uh-huh, yeah, that's cool, what he said" or should I actually contribute?

The Choice That Changed Everything

This time, I chose differently. I thought to myself: "You're here, you've made it. You're in the position, you're on the call. You were actively filling one of the four Zoom boxes and you were hired for a reason."

Whatever that reason was, I was there. What I did with that was up to me.

The Question That Matters

Instead of staying silent and confirming everyone's (imaginary) doubts about me, I asked myself: Will you show everybody on that call why you're there or will you just stay silent nodding and adding in your "uh-huh, yes"?

The choice was mine to make.

What Happened When I Spoke Up

I made the comment. I said the thing I thought would be valuable. The response was pretty standard, but that wasn't the point anymore.

The point was that I had stopped the cycle of turning my fears into reality.

The Dangerous Path to Avoid

If you continue down the path of silence when you have something to contribute, here's what happens:

• You truly don't add anything to conversations

• You truly don't add any value

• People start to wonder what you're doing there

• Eventually, they might decide you shouldn't be there at all

As I realized: "If I continue to let the fear of talking or sharing my opinion overcome me, I will truly turn my thoughts into reality."

Breaking the Cycle

The way to break this self-fulfilling prophecy is simple but not easy:

When you have something valuable to contribute, contribute it.

Don't let the fear of not being good enough become the reason you're actually not good enough.

Why This Matters

You might be worried about speaking up and looking foolish. But there's something worse than looking foolish: confirming that you really don't belong by staying silent when you could add value.

Your negative thoughts about yourself will become reality if you let them guide your actions. The antidote is to act despite those thoughts, not because of them.

The Bottom Line

Stop proving your imposter syndrome right. If you're in the room, you earned it somehow. Now show them why you're there instead of sitting silently and making them wonder.

Your fears will become your reality only if you let them. Choose to act despite the fear, not because of it.

This insight comes from a larger conversation about overcoming imposter syndrome and finding your voice in professional settings. Want to hear the full story? Listen to this complete episode on the Guyset podcast, available on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and wherever you get your podcasts.