When Should You Text Her After Getting Her Number at the Bar?

Skip the games and timing tricks - here's when to actually reach out for the best results

By
Guyset

Sep 16, 2025

Getting a girl's number at a bar feels like winning the lottery, but then comes the anxiety-inducing question: when should you actually text her? Too soon and you seem desperate. Too late and you lose momentum. Here's my honest take on the timing that actually works for modern dating.

The Golden Rule: Text the Next Morning (Before Noon)

The reality check: If you're at a bar, you've probably been drinking. Your 2 AM "hey beautiful" text isn't going to be your best work. Unless the energy between you two is absolutely electric and you're planning to meet up that same night, save the real conversation starter for when you're sober.

Why Next Morning Works Best for Dating Success

You're in your right mindset. No alcohol clouding your judgment, no autocorrect disasters, no rambling messages you'll regret. You can craft something genuine without overthinking it.

She's hopefully thinking about you. If you had a good connection, she's probably wondering when you'll reach out. Don't make her wait until 6 PM the next day for no reason other than playing dating games.

It shows genuine interest without desperation. Texting the next morning signals that meeting her was memorable enough to follow up on, but you're not sitting by your phone obsessing.

The Immediate Text Strategy: Setting Yourself Up for Success

Here's something most guys miss: send a quick text right when you get her number. Something simple like "Josh from [bar name]" so she has your contact saved and knows who's texting later.

This eliminates the awkward "who is this?" moment and shows you're organized enough to think ahead. It's a small detail that makes a big difference in dating success.

When You CAN Text That Same Night

There are exceptions to the next-morning rule for texting after getting her number:

High-energy connections: If the chemistry is undeniable and you're both clearly feeling it, strike while the iron's hot.

Immediate plans: You're heading to another bar and want to invite her to join your group.

She specifically mentions something: If she says "text me later" or gives you a clear opening, take it.

The logistics test: If you're trying to coordinate meeting up that same night, obviously you need to text immediately.

What to Actually Say in That Follow-Up Text

Keep it simple and direct. Here's a dating text template that works:

"Hey [name], it was really great meeting you last night. I'd love to take you out for drinks sometime - how's Thursday looking for you?"

Why this texting approach works:

  • References your meeting (shows you remember)

  • States clear intent (asking her out)

  • Suggests a specific day (makes it easy to respond)

  • Keeps it casual but confident

Common Dating Text Mistakes to Avoid

The 3-day rule: This outdated dating advice assumes playing hard to get creates attraction. In reality, it often just creates confusion or makes her think you're not interested.

Overthinking the perfect message: Spending two hours crafting the "perfect" text usually results in something that sounds forced. Keep it natural.

Drunk texting: Never, ever send important texts when you've been drinking. Your drunk brain thinks everything is clever and charming. It's usually neither.

Playing dating games: Don't wait exactly 24 hours or follow some arbitrary timeline. Real connections don't need artificial delays.

Reading the Situation: Energy Matters More Than Dating Rules

The most important factor isn't timing - it's reading the energy you had together. If you spent the whole night talking and she seemed genuinely excited about seeing you again, don't overthink it. If the interaction was brief or she seemed distracted, the next morning approach gives you both time to process.

Trust your gut. If something felt special, treat it that way. If it was casual, keep your follow-up casual too.

What If She Doesn't Respond to Your Text?

Don't double text immediately. Give her at least 48 hours before considering a follow-up.

Don't take it personally. There are a million reasons why someone might not respond that have nothing to do with you.

Move on gracefully. One follow-up text after a few days is acceptable. Beyond that, you're entering uncomfortable territory.

Expert Dating Tips for Texting Success

Focus on authenticity over strategy. The best dating advice is to be genuine rather than trying to manipulate outcomes through timing tricks.

Consider her perspective. If roles were reversed, when would you want someone to text you after meeting at a bar?

Quality over quantity. One thoughtful message is better than multiple casual texts.

Have a plan. Don't just text to text - have a clear purpose like asking her out or continuing your conversation.

The Bottom Line on Texting Timing After Getting Her Number

Text her the next morning when you're thinking clearly and can put your best foot forward. Skip the games, be genuine, and trust that if there was a real connection, good timing won't ruin it.

Remember: if someone is genuinely interested in you, they're not going to lose that interest because you texted at 10 AM instead of 2 PM. Focus on being authentic rather than trying to game the system.

The goal isn't to manipulate attraction through timing - it's to continue a conversation with someone you're interested in getting to know better. Keep it simple, keep it real, and trust the process.

Frequently Asked Questions About Texting After Getting Her Number

Q: How long should I wait to text after getting her number? A: Text the next morning before noon for best results. This shows interest without seeming desperate.

Q: What if I'm too nervous to text her? A: Keep it simple and direct. Reference meeting her and suggest a specific plan to meet again.

Q: Should I follow the 3-day rule? A: No, the 3-day rule is outdated dating advice that often backfires in modern dating.

Q: What if she doesn't respond to my first text? A: Wait 48 hours, then consider one follow-up message. After that, move on gracefully.

Looking for more dating advice that cuts through the BS? These are the real conversations guys need to have about modern dating. Learn more about building confidence, reading social cues, and developing genuine connections that lead to meaningful relationships.