The Real Job Interview Turn-Ons and Turn-Offs

There’s no class in college called How to Act in an Interview. You’re expected to just figure it out.

We learn how to build a resume, maybe how to answer a few predictable questions, but not how to actually come across like a real person. When I started getting the chance to interview candidates at work, I realized how few people actually knew how to do that.

Most people think being prepared means memorizing answers. It doesn’t. It means being present.

“Most job interviews aren’t conducted by going into an office building and walking up to the 150th floor anymore. You’re probably walking from your bathroom after you just took a shit to your desk, turning on Zoom, and being like, ‘Hi, I’m Josh. Nice to meet you.’ That’s the reality now.”

That’s exactly what the modern interview looks like. It’s awkward, it’s digital, and it’s happening in the same space you eat breakfast. Which makes how you show up even more important.

The Human Side of Interviews

When I started interviewing people myself, one thing became clear. Everyone’s trying to hit the same talking points. They all want to sound impressive, polished, and professional. The problem is, that’s exactly what makes most people forgettable.

One guy I interviewed had his answers down to a science. Same tone, same breath, same rhythm. It was almost eerie.

“He had everything so rigid and so prepared and so robotic that it felt like there was no human element to it.”

He didn’t even realize it. He thought he was doing everything right and technically he was. But the thing that makes someone stand out in an interview isn’t perfection. It’s personality.

Turn-Off #1: Sounding Like a Script

There’s a fine line between being prepared and being robotic. When you memorize your lines word for word, you lose the most valuable part of communication: connection.

Your interviewer doesn’t just want to know what you’ve done. They want to know who you are while you do it.

That means speaking like a person, not a PowerPoint. If your voice sounds exactly like it did in your head when you practiced, you’ve probably gone too far.

If you struggle with overthinking or second-guessing yourself before interviews, this post on building confidence from scratch is a great place to start.

Turn-On #1: Bringing Yourself Into the Room

One of the biggest turn-ons in any interview is personality. And I don’t mean being overly casual or dropping jokes. It’s how you carry yourself, how you engage, and how you make the conversation feel human.

“It’s okay to be nervous. The version where you’re acting like yourself and answering questions like a real human being is going to shine so much brighter than the version you think you’re supposed to be.”

Confidence doesn’t come from pretending. It comes from knowing who you are and owning that in the moment.

If you’re slouched over, clicking around your computer, and looking distracted, it shows. But if you sit up straight, smile, and treat the person like you’re having a real conversation, that presence carries through the screen.

Turn-Off #2: Overconfidence

Confidence is attractive. Overconfidence is not.
You don’t need to tell someone you’re confident. You show it through how you talk about what you’ve done.

“Confidence can also lead into arrogance or pompousness. There’s a middle ground to it where you can speak clearly and prove that you’re good at what you do without having to state it.”

The second you start saying, “I’m confident I can do this job,” you’ve already lost the subtlety that actually communicates confidence. It’s like telling someone you’re funny instead of making them laugh.

Turn-On #2: Slowing Down

One of my favorite moments from this episode is when I talked about what a “turn-on” really looks like in an interview.

“Speaking slowly with confidence behind what you’re saying is such a turn-on in an interview. It’s a huge sign that you know exactly what you’re doing.”

You don’t need to rush. You don’t need to fill every second of silence. Slowing down gives your words more weight and shows that you’re comfortable with the conversation.

And if you need a second to think, say it.
“Can I take a second to think about that?” is one of the most powerful sentences you can use in an interview.

Turn-Off #3: Treating It Like a Test

Job interviews aren’t exams. There’s no right answer to most questions, only better ones.
The goal isn’t to impress your interviewer with perfect logic. It’s to make them feel like they could actually see you on the team.

“The best interviews are the ones that feel like conversations. Not tests, not interrogations. Just two people talking about something they both care about.”

If you’ve ever struggled with comparing your progress to everyone else’s, this post on feeling behind in your 20s will help you reset that mindset before your next interview.

The second you stop trying to pass and start trying to connect, everything changes.

Turn-On #3: Asking Real Questions

The last five minutes of any interview matter just as much as the first five.
When the interviewer asks, “Do you have any questions for me?” and you say “No, I think we covered everything,” you’ve missed your last shot to leave an impression.

“Have at least two questions to ask them. Ask about their experience, what they’ve learned, or what leads people to find success in the role. That’s the stuff that stands out.”

This is where you show genuine curiosity. Ask about something they said earlier. Ask what they love about their job. Ask what success looks like on their team. Those are the questions that get remembered.

Turn-On #4: Following Up

If there’s one move that instantly makes you stand out, it’s sending a follow-up email.
Not a novel, not a sales pitch, just a simple note that shows gratitude and interest.

“Hi Ben, thanks so much for the time today. I really appreciated hearing about the way your team works on this project, and I’m excited to hear next steps.”

That’s it. Most people don’t send one at all. You’ll be amazed how far a thoughtful follow-up goes.

Turn-On #5: Believing You Deserve to Be There

“You already got in the room. It might be virtual, but you’re there for a reason. Make the most of it.”

That line sums it up.
Interviews are nerve-racking for everyone. You’re not supposed to feel calm. You’re supposed to feel human. But once you’re in that Zoom, you’ve already proven something. So bring your energy, sit up straight, and own your space.

If you’re feeling unsure about where you are in your career, this guide on what to do when you feel lost pairs perfectly with this episode.

Why This Episode Matters

Q: What will listeners learn?
You’ll learn how to stop treating interviews like performances and start treating them like real conversations. You’ll understand the small things that make a huge difference: posture, tone, eye contact, and follow-up.

Q: Why does this topic matter now?
Because interviews have changed. Most are online. The process is faster, colder, and harder to stand out in. The human stuff like warmth, presence, and curiosity is what cuts through the noise.

Related Reads:

• How to Build Confidence from Scratch

• What to Do When You Feel Lost in Your Career

• How to Stop Feeling Behind in Your 20s

Want to hear the full story? Listen to the episode on Spotify or Apple Podcasts.