If you want to learn how to introduce yourself better, be more confident in job interviews, speak up in meetings, learn how to calm your nerves and anxiety, overcome imposter syndrome, learn how to deal with rejection and failure, and answer the question, “tell me about yourself,” this episode is for you. If there is an area of your life where you don’t feel confident, look no further.

Megan Grano is an actor, writer, comedian, and public speaking coach. She’s been in Veep and Curb Your Enthusiasm, written for Jimmy Kimmel, and has been a public speaking coach for 12 years getting her start coaching the COO of Facebook Sheryl Sandberg. She works with executives, pro athletes, comedians, actors, and regular people like you and me for media appearances, interviews, job interviews, pitches, presentations, using the comedy tools she's learned along the way.

There is so much value and so many tools in this episode, I'm so excited about this one!

How to Build Real Confidence: A Communication Expert's Guide for Young Men

From Second City stages to coaching Facebook executives, Megan Grano shares battle-tested techniques for conquering nerves, acing interviews, and speaking with authority

Confidence isn't something you either have or don't have—it's a skill you can develop through practice and specific techniques. Megan Grano knows this better than most. After starting in comedy at Chicago's Second City and going on to coach executives like Sheryl Sandberg, she's seen how the right strategies can transform even the most nervous speakers into compelling communicators.

Her insights reveal a crucial truth: the most successful people aren't naturally confident—they've simply learned the tools to manage their nerves and project confidence even when they don't feel it.

Why Failure Is Your Secret Weapon

Before diving into techniques, Grano addresses the elephant in the room: fear of failure. Her perspective is refreshingly different from the typical "think positive" advice.

"I have failed on stage in front of hundreds of people so many times that I've developed this really thick skin about failing in general," she explains. "When you fail, it's not as big of a deal as your head makes it up to be."

Her prescription? Fail more, but in low-stakes environments. Take a dance class where you're terrible. Try standup comedy. Sign up for something you know you'll struggle with.

"If you don't fail enough, you don't have that skill of letting it go," Grano notes. This failure training builds resilience for when it actually matters—like job interviews or important presentations.

The Three-Step System for Managing Nerves

When nerves hit before important moments, Grano recommends a specific three-step approach:

1. Get Physical

"Fear and nervousness take over your body," she explains. The solution? Combat this with physical activity: jumping jacks, pushups, dancing—anything to release the tension and regain control.

Pro tip: This doesn't have to be obvious. Even a quick bathroom dance session (yes, really) can reset your nervous system.

2. Practice Focused Listening

Nervous people stop hearing clearly. Practice intense listening by:

• Playing a podcast for 10 seconds, then pausing to recall exactly what you heard

• Playing word association games

• Paying attention to visual details (what someone's wearing, room layout)

3. Use Box Breathing

This technique, used by Navy SEALs and surgeons, controls your heart rate:

• Breathe in for 4 counts

• Hold for 4 counts

• Exhale for 4 counts

• Hold for 4 counts

• Repeat

"When your heart rate stays slow, your body doesn't cascade into all those other physical responses," Grano explains.

The Art of Self-Introduction: Your 30-Second Superpower

Most people fumble when asked "Tell me about yourself." Grano's solution involves the "Rule of Fives":

Step 1: Write 10 bullet points about yourself across three categories:

• Work: Jobs, internships, even that summer when you painted lines for the Department of Transportation

• Play: Hobbies, interests, unique skills

• Home: Where you're from, family background, life experiences

Step 2: Test these points with five different people. If all five react positively to something, it stays in your intro.

Step 3: Practice until you can deliver it smoothly, without filler words (ums, uhs, likes).

Example Framework: "Hi, I'm [Name]. I'm [age/role] who [unique experience/background]. I [current focus/passion] and I'm particularly interested in [relevant detail]."

The key? Know your audience and have slightly different versions for different contexts—just like you wouldn't use the same cover letter for every job.

Meeting Mastery: How to Speak Up with Confidence

For young professionals intimidated by senior colleagues, Grano offers specific tactics:

The "Go Early" Strategy

"Do not wait. The longer time goes by until you speak up in the meeting, the more the pressure will build."

Her advice: Jump into the conversation early, even with something small. Getting your voice heard breaks the initial barrier and makes subsequent contributions easier.

Body Language That Builds Confidence

• Take up space: Don't hunch inward when nervous. Spread your arms on armrests or place hands on the conference table

• Maximize the ear-to-shoulder distance: Research shows people with more distance between their ear and shoulder are viewed as more confident

• Make eye contact: Force yourself to look at people as you speak

The Feedback Loop Effect

"When you speak with volume, making eye contact with gestures, your brain will catch up and think, 'I must be confident right now. Look how I'm making eye contact.'"

Interview Excellence: What Separates Good from Great

Beyond the basics, Grano emphasizes less obvious but crucial elements:

Avoid the Two Big Mistakes

1. Reading your notes or presentation: "Everyone would rather you speak to them and interact with them"

2. Letting nerves control you: Use the three-step system above

When You Don't Know the Answer

Practice saying: "I don't know, but here's what I can tell you..." or "I don't have that information right now, but I can circle back with the answer by [specific time]."

Never just say "I don't know" and leave it hanging.

The Practice Paradox: Why Pros Practice More, Not Less

One of Grano's biggest revelations from working with executives: "You never graduate out of needing to prepare. seasoned people have to practice just as much as anyone else."

The difference? Experienced speakers can apply feedback faster, but they still put in the hours.

Her recommendation: Practice out loud with other people, not just in your head or mirror. Role-play interviews on Zoom if that's how you'll actually interview. Wear the shoes you'll wear for the presentation when you practice.

The Confidence Mindset: It's Only as Weird as You Make It

Perhaps Grano's most liberating advice: "It's only as weird as you make it."

That awkward comment you made? The stumbled introduction? Most of the time, you're the only one still thinking about it. Change your internal dialogue from "That was so weird" to "Whatever, I said that. Move on."

Advanced Techniques: Small Changes, Big Impact

The Repetition Strategy

When asked a question in interviews, repeat or rephrase it before answering. This keeps you present and ensures you're addressing what was actually asked.

Know Your Practice Number

Find your personal practice requirement. Grano needs about 10 run-throughs before feeling confident. Some people need 3, others need 15. Discover your number and honor it.

Record and Review

"By week 10 of recording myself weekly, I was no longer cringing watching myself. I had learned so much about what I was doing."

Self-recording is uncomfortable but invaluable for improvement.

The Bottom Line: Confidence Is a Skill, Not a Gift

The most important takeaway from Grano's approach? Confidence isn't about feeling fearless—it's about having tools to manage fear and project competence even when you're nervous.

"Your voice is valuable and everybody needs to hear it," she emphasizes. "Sometimes you're attributing too much importance to the senior people in the room."

Whether you're giving your first presentation, interviewing for a dream job, or trying to speak up in meetings, these techniques provide a roadmap from nervous to confident. The key is practice, patience with yourself, and remembering that even the most polished speakers started exactly where you are now.

Start with one technique. Practice it. Fail at it. Try again. That's how confidence is really built—one small step outside your comfort zone at a time.

Want more practical advice for navigating your twenties with confidence? Subscribe to Guyset for weekly insights on career growth, communication skills, and building the life you want.

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