#76 - Advice From A 61 Year Old Man with Martino
Nov 12, 2024
Martino’s advice is exactly what every guy needs to hear. His perspective will make you think and I guarantee you won’t regret listening to this one.
Life Advice from a 61-Year-Old: Martino's Essential Wisdom for Guys in Their 20s
At 61 years old, Martino has lived across eight countries, changed careers multiple times, and built a fulfilling life that many young men aspire to achieve. After starting his TikTok journey just four months ago at his daughter's suggestion, he's already gained over 40,000 followers who eagerly await his daily dose of wisdom.
From his home in the stunning region of Asturias, Spain, Martino shares hard-earned insights about everything from career changes to relationships, mental health to finding purpose. His advice comes not from textbooks, but from a life richly lived—complete with moves across continents, career pivots, late marriage at 35, and finding happiness on his own terms.
Why Young Men Need Martino's Perspective
"There's that stigma attached about talking about our feelings," Martino observes. "In my 20s, you bottle things up, you keep it to yourself, you pretend things are okay." His mission? To break that silence and help young men navigate life's challenges with authenticity and purpose.
What makes Martino's advice particularly valuable is his unique background—by age 11, he had already moved to his eighth country, giving him a global perspective on life, resilience, and human nature that few possess.
Core Life Lessons: Anxiety and Overwhelm
Stop Living in the Future
Martino's take: "We worry too much, particularly about the small stuff. Anxiety really is simply worrying about the future."
His solution is elegantly simple: ground yourself in the present. Tomorrow's outcome is largely decided already—what matters is how you do what you're doing right now.
Key insight: Remember the Afrikaans saying "ales alrejo"—everything has a way of working itself out. Stop making mountains out of molehills and avoid the trap of overthinking and overanalyzing.
Embrace Solitude
One of Martino's most powerful pieces of advice centers on learning to be alone:
"Being alone does not mean that you are lonely. Find that time to be alone and to enjoy your own company and most importantly be content with who you are."
Practical tip: Try sitting in a café and watching people go by. Wonder what they're thinking. These moments of solitude are crucial for self-reflection and personal growth—something you can't achieve when constantly busy with social activities.
Social Challenges: FOMO and New Cities
Dealing with FOMO (Fear of Missing Out)
Instead of constantly seeking social activities, Martino suggests asking yourself: "Are you really missing out because you're not at that party?"
His advice: Focus on doing things on your own. Connect with nature through walks or surfing. These solo activities provide both physical and mental experiences that constant social busyness simply cannot match.
Starting Fresh in a New City
Having moved countless times, Martino knows the challenge of building new friendships. His strategy:
Embrace your uniqueness: You bring something special that others don't have
Join clubs and associations: Meet people with similar interests and values
Let your experiences shine: Your diverse background is an asset, not a liability
Taking Control of Your Life
Self-Nurturing vs. Selfish
"Put what matters to you first. That's not actually being selfish, it's actually being self-nurturing."
Martino emphasizes that in traditional and hierarchical societies, it's difficult to take control at a young age. But you must set boundaries and trust yourself—you're best equipped to know what's good for you.
Key principle: Challenge tradition and hierarchy when they don't serve your wellbeing.
Body Image and Self-Acceptance
As someone who was "a skinny kid at school," Martino offers refreshing perspective on body image:
"We're not all built in the same way and for a reason. We are designed for different things."
His message: Be happy with who you are. One day you'll look back and realize you were fine just the way you were. Focus on enjoying and appreciating yourself rather than conforming to others' expectations.
Relationship Wisdom
Dealing with Breakups
Breakups, especially first loves, can be devastating. Martino's approach:
Focus on rebuilding: Work on your self-worth and self-confidence
Do different things: Give your mind time to heal by engaging in new activities
Find pockets of happiness: Look for something extraordinary in the ordinary each day
Be grateful: Appreciate the time you had together as a learning experience
Overcoming Rejection
Been ghosted or left on read? Martino's advice is refreshingly direct:
"Move on. Probably not the right person for you. There's 8 billion people on this planet. You've now identified one person not to waste your energy on."
Don't analyze the "why"—it will drive you crazy. Instead, focus on what you can control: your reaction to the situation.
Building Confidence
For the shy guys struggling to approach people they're interested in:
"Just do it because what have you got to lose? We all have something special. It's that uniqueness that makes us special. The worst case that can happen is she says no."
Understanding Love and Commitment
Martino married at 35, proving there's no rush. His signs of falling in love:
Notice the small things: When small gestures give you that "warm feeling"
Feel comfortable being together: But equally important...
Feel comfortable being yourself: Don't change yourself to fit into a relationship
On commitment fears: "Don't force something if you're not ready. Let love grow naturally. You'll know when it happens."
Career Guidance That Actually Works
Choosing Your Path
Martino's cardinal rule: "Don't choose a job just for the money."
Exceptions include using a job as a means to an end (saving to start your own business) or gaining experience before pivoting.
Company Culture Matters
"Make sure it's a company that aligns with your values. It should be an environment where you feel valued and not just become another number."
His experience across corporations, family businesses, and startups taught him that toxic environments—especially those with narcissistic bosses—stunt growth. If you're in such a situation, get out while you can.
Speaking Up in Meetings
As a newcomer, you might feel you have nothing to contribute. Martino counters:
"Speak up and challenge things. We all have something unique to contribute. Don't think you have nothing to contribute because you're new."
When to Leave a Job
Life's too short to spend 40+ hours a week doing something you hate. If you don't like your job:
Understand why you don't like it
See if it can be fixed
If not, move on—but have another job lined up first
Decision-Making and Trust
There's No "Right" Decision
"I don't believe there is such a thing as the right decision. There is a decision that you make, and based on that decision, your life will follow a certain path."
Different decisions lead to different paths—you could have taken another route and still ended up happy. What matters is following your instinct, which is usually right.
Creating Your Own Luck
Borrowing wisdom from his father-in-law: "There's no such thing as luck. You make your own luck."
How? By putting yourself in positions where synchronicity can occur. Create circumstances that allow meaningful coincidences to happen.
Essential Reading and Final Wisdom
Book recommendation: The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey
This book introduced Martino to the concept of paradigm shifts—understanding situations and people before judging them.
What Martino Would Tell His Younger Self
Slow down and look around you: Stop rushing through life
If you think it's a good idea, just do it: Don't overthink
Don't judge people too quickly: Try to understand them first
Be kind and don't put yourself on a pedestal: Ego isn't the same as self-confidence
Don't pretend everything is okay: Reach out when you're struggling
Be proud of your accomplishments: We don't praise ourselves enough
The Power of Sharing Your Story
Martino's TikTok success stems from genuine desire to help, not monetary gain. "The reward for me is the comments. It's incredible how you can positively impact a complete stranger's life."
His message extends beyond social media—he's writing a book for his children, wanting them to know "the young me" just as he wished he had known more about his father's youth.
Embracing Your Uniqueness
Perhaps Martino's most consistent message throughout his advice:
"Be proud of who you are and stand up for who you are. Our differences make us unique and our uniqueness makes us special."
Whether you're eccentric, weird, or simply different, these qualities are not flaws to hide but strengths to celebrate.
Martino's wisdom reminds us that life's greatest teacher is experience, and the best advice often comes from those who've navigated similar struggles. His message is clear: embrace your journey, trust your instincts, and remember that everything has a way of working itself out.
Carpe Diem – Seize the day.
Want more conversations with people who've figured out how to build meaningful lives? Subscribe to Guyset for weekly discussions about navigating your twenties with purpose, from mental health to career advice to relationships and beyond.
The questions I ask him:
Why do you think guys never talk about our feelings
Where you live and what you do for work
Why should someone take your advice
Why did you start your TikTok channel
Looking back at your life, what are you most proud of
What are you still working on
On Self-confidence/ Self-help:
What advice would you give to someone who has trouble staying in the present
What advice do you have for someone with FOMO
What tips do you have for someone who struggles to spend time on their own
What advice do you have for someone who just moved to a new city
What advice do you have for someone who feels like they are not in control of their life
What advice do you have for someone who is dealing with a lot of anxiety
What advice do you have for a guy that worries about his body image and thinks he’s so small
On Relationships:
What advice do you have for someone who was just broken up with
What advice do you have for someone who got ghosted
What advice do you have for a guy whos’s not confident in talking to girls
What advice do you have for someone feeling social pressure
When do you think it’s the right time to start a relationship
How do you know when you’re in love
How do you work through times of struggle in a relationship
On Career:
What advice do you have for someone starting out their career
What advice do you have for someone who wants to leave their job
What advice do you have for someone who is looking for a mentor
How to know if you’re making the right decision
What books are you reading?
What would you tell your younger self?
Follow Martino: @martinoadvice
Watch the full interview on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@guyset
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Website: Guyset.com
See you guys next Tuesday.
