#72 - The Things Successful People Do
Oct 15, 2024
One of the best ways to gain confidence is by observing the behaviors of successful people.
By paying attention to the mannerisms and attributes of the people we see as successful, we can apply them to our everyday lives to get to where we want to be. So here’s what I’ve observed from spending time around successful people. I believe the answers on how to gain confidence are in this episode.
What Successful People Actually Do: 7 Traits I Observed in High-Level Rooms
From Guyset Podcast - A Guy's Guide to What Should Be Talked About
The best career advice I ever received was simple: "Put yourself in rooms where you're not the smartest person." Since hearing that five years ago, I've actively sought out opportunities to observe and interact with highly successful people—from presenting to CEOs to attending industry conferences.
Recently, I spent time in several "high-level rooms": panels at Advertising Week NYC, corporate retreats, and one-on-one Zoom calls with industry leaders. Here's what I learned about how truly successful people conduct themselves—and how you can apply these behaviors to advance your own career.
Why These Observations Matter
Most successful people's habits aren't taught in school or openly discussed. These interpersonal and communication skills often seem "gatekept"—but they're actually learnable behaviors you can observe and implement.
The key insight: Success isn't just about what you know, it's about how you present yourself and interact with others.
1. Exceptional Presence and Body Language
What They Do:
Maintain strong eye contact during conversations
Stand tall with shoulders back—never hunched or fidgeting
Nod and engage actively while others speak
Avoid touching their face, scratching, or adjusting themselves
Put phones and devices completely away
What This Shows: They're fully present and interested in what you have to say. Their body language demonstrates respect for both the conversation and the person they're speaking with.
How to Apply It:
Practice maintaining eye contact for entire conversations
Set your phone to "Do Not Disturb" before entering meetings
Consciously correct your posture when you catch yourself slouching
Use active listening signals: nodding, "mm-hmm," maintaining an open posture
2. Mastering the Art of Introduction
What They Do:
Give firm handshakes with direct eye contact
Introduce themselves with full name and clear role
Recognize who they've met before vs. new faces
Make each person feel individually acknowledged
Example I Witnessed: A successful executive joined a Zoom call and immediately said, "Hi Josh, I don't think we've met before. Nice to meet you, I'm [Name]." Then he personally greeted each person on the call.
How to Apply It:
Practice your personal introduction: full name, role, one interesting detail
Take a moment to acknowledge each person in group settings
Remember: confident introductions set the tone for everything that follows
3. Strategic Question Asking
What They Do:
Ask genuine follow-up questions, not just prepared talking points
Listen to answers and build on what was said
Include others by asking, "What do you think about this, [Name]?"
The Difference: Instead of rapid-fire questions like an interview, they create actual conversations. When someone shares something interesting, they dig deeper: "How did that actually work?" or "What were the results of that?"
How to Apply It:
Prepare 2-3 good starter questions, but focus on listening
Ask follow-ups based on their answers, not your agenda
Make conversations about learning, not just networking
4. Controlled, Intentional Speech
What They Do:
Speak slower than average—never rushed
Take pauses before answering questions
Use phrases like "That's a really interesting question" to buy thinking time
Make simple statements sound profound through delivery
The Impact: Fortune favors the bold. Simple concept, right? But when delivered slowly and intentionally, it carries weight and makes people listen.
How to Apply It:
Practice speaking 20% slower than feels natural
Count to three before responding to questions
Use intentional pauses for emphasis
Remember: How you say something often matters more than what you say
5. Comfortable with Silence
What They Don't Do:
Fill every moment with words
Rush to respond immediately
Panic during conversational lulls
What They Do Instead:
Allow space for others to contribute
Take time to formulate thoughtful responses
Let silence work for them, not against them
How to Apply It:
Practice counting to three before responding
Get comfortable with 2-3 seconds of silence in conversations
Use silence as a tool to encourage others to share more
6. Having a Clear Point of View
What They Do:
Come prepared with takes and opinions on relevant topics
Share concrete examples and experiences
Take clear stances rather than being wishy-washy
What They Avoid:
Speaking just to fill space
Agreeing with everything everyone says
Making statements without conviction
How to Apply It:
Develop informed opinions on topics in your industry
Practice articulating your views clearly and concisely
Support your points with specific examples when possible
7. Genuine Interest in Others
What They Do:
Ask about other people's work and experiences
Remember details from previous conversations
Make others feel valued and heard
Give credit where it's due
Red Flags to Avoid:
Constantly checking phone/watch during conversations
Only talking about yourself
Looking around the room while someone else is speaking
Immediately pivoting to your own agenda
Real-World Application: The Conference Story
At a recent conference, I was sampling sauces (my natural habitat) when I noticed a woman adjusting the display. Instead of walking by, I asked, "Are you a fan of this brand?"
She turned out to be the CMO of the company. What followed was a 10-minute conversation about her work, challenges, and campaigns. The key? I had no ulterior motive—just genuine curiosity. This authentic approach led to a meaningful connection.
Lesson: The best networking happens when you're genuinely interested in people, not just what they can do for you.
Common Mistakes That Scream "Inexperienced"
In Person:
Constantly fidgeting or adjusting clothing
Crossing arms or closed body language
Looking around instead of maintaining eye contact
Nervous gestures (hair twirling, face touching)
In Virtual Meetings:
Constantly muting/unmuting
Clearly multitasking (typing, checking email)
Poor camera angle showing just the top of your head
Eating or drinking obnoxiously on camera
Building Confidence Through Observation
The Strategy:
Identify successful people in your field or company
Observe their behavior in meetings, presentations, and casual interactions
Practice key behaviors in low-stakes situations first
Gradually implement these traits in more important settings
Remember: Confidence is often just practiced behavior. The more you act like a confident person, the more naturally confident you become.
The "Nothing to Lose" Mentality
Sometimes embarrassing moments can be your best networking opportunities. I once spilled sauce all over my shoes at a conference. Instead of hiding in embarrassment, I cleaned up and immediately started a conversation with someone nearby—leading to one of my best connections of the day.
Takeaway: When you think you have nothing to lose, you often gain the most.
Your Action Plan
This Week:
Practice one behavior from this list in every meeting you attend
Observe successful people in your workplace and note their habits
Find one "room" where you're not the smartest person and put yourself in it
This Month:
Implement all seven traits gradually
Seek out networking events or industry meetups
Practice your introduction until it feels natural
Long-term:
Make observing successful people a regular habit
Continuously refine your professional presence
Share opportunities with others—confidence is contagious
Final Thoughts
Success isn't just about technical skills or intelligence—it's about how you show up and interact with others. These behaviors aren't innate talents; they're learnable skills that anyone can develop with practice and observation.
The next time you're in a room with successful people, don't just admire their achievements. Watch how they conduct themselves, take notes, and start implementing what you observe.
Remember: Every successful person was once where you are now. The difference is that they learned how to present themselves effectively while building their expertise.
Your future self will thank you for starting these practices today.
For more career advice and tips on navigating your 20s and early career, listen to Guyset - A Guy's Guide to What Should Be Talked About. Available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and all major platforms. Send your career questions to josh@guyset.com
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See you guys next Tuesday.
