#42 - Answering Reddits Questions

Mar 19, 2024

MORE ON THIS EPISODE

I answer questions from Reddit and get really side-tracked by one question after it gets deep. Some more questions are about essential things for guys to buy, why the internet makes fun of short people, what to do if your friend moves away, a book that inspires me, and so much more! What are you waiting for, hit the play button!

What Reddit Taught Me About What Guys Really Struggle With (And It's Not What You Think)

Anonymous honesty reveals the deep questions men are afraid to ask out loud

I recently discovered something that completely changed how I think about men's mental health and what guys in their twenties actually struggle with. It wasn't a research study or a psychology book—it was Reddit.

Yeah, that place you probably think is just memes and weird internet culture. Turns out, it's where guys go to share the deepest stuff they'd never say to their friends.

The Power of Anonymous Honesty

Here's what I realized: guys feel more comfortable sharing their real emotions, insecurities, and fears with complete strangers on an anonymous forum than they do with their closest friends.

"The fact that we can share it on here and look to other guys and just feel that like if we express it somewhere and this has been the place for it is so wild to me," I reflected after diving deep into Reddit's "Ask Men" communities.

The question that hit me the hardest: "Be brutally honest. What don't you like about yourself?"

The responses weren't surface-level complaints. They were raw, honest confessions that guys would never share in real life.

What Guys Actually Worry About (According to Reddit)

When given complete anonymity, here's what emerged from hundreds of responses:

Mental Health and Self-Worth

  • "I crave connection and feelings like someone cares about me, but I push everyone away and want to be alone most of the time"

  • "I can't fathom another human being being interested in me, so why bother?"

  • "I don't like my insecurities. I would like to be more confident"

Body Image and Physical Insecurities

  • "My hairline is my biggest insecurity"

  • "No matter how much I work out and eat properly, my belly fat still won't go away"

  • "I used to make fun of my dad for covering his bald spot. And then one day I found myself doing the same thing"

Social Anxiety and Communication

  • "I'm absolutely terrible at making friends"

  • "I have trouble communicating with dudes and sometimes with girls"

  • "My social battery tends to die quickly"

Life Direction and Achievement

  • "I haven't accomplished as much as I promised myself I would"

  • "I can't set goals because I don't know what I want to do out of life"

  • "I set big goals for myself, but every time I wake up, I'm lazy with my phone and I end up doing nothing"

Relationship Fears

  • "I don't feel safe around attractive women"

  • "I'm not self confident regarding relationships"

  • "I get too attached to people, but when they leave, it destroys me"

The Most Relatable Comment Ever Written

One response perfectly captured what it's like to be a guy in your twenties:

"I'm not sure. I guess my self esteem and I'm kind of an introvert and my ability to communicate with people... my hairline is my biggest insecurity and lately my weight, which I plan to fix, but I am lazy TBH. I do plan to start working out, but I don't follow through."

If you're reading this and thinking "holy shit, that's exactly how I feel"—you're not alone. That comment had hundreds of upvotes because it resonated with so many guys.

Why Reddit vs. Real Life?

The contrast is striking. In person, guys might talk about:

  • Work stress

  • Sports

  • What they're watching on Netflix

  • Surface-level dating problems

On Reddit, they're discussing:

  • Deep insecurities about their worth as human beings

  • Fear of never finding someone who will love them

  • Anxiety about their life direction

  • Body dysmorphia and appearance concerns

Why the difference? Anonymity removes the fear of judgment, vulnerability shame, and the pressure to maintain a "strong" image.

The Most Expensive Things Worth Buying (According to Reddit)

Not everything on Reddit was heavy. One lighter question asked: "What's really expensive but totally worth buying as a man?"

Top answers:

  • A good-fitting suit

  • Quality tools

  • A high-quality mattress

  • Good cologne/fragrance

  • Quality shoes and boots

  • A bidet (surprisingly popular)

  • Air fryer

  • Manscaping products

  • Quality skincare

The wisdom: "Don't be afraid to spend good money on anything that goes between you and the ground—car tires, mattress, shoes."

What This Means for All of Us

Discovering this anonymous honesty made me realize something profound: guys need spaces to be vulnerable and real about their struggles.

The problem: We're conditioned to keep these feelings locked up. We don't share emotional struggles with friends. We don't admit when we're struggling with confidence, body image, or life direction.

The result: Guys suffer in silence, thinking they're the only ones who feel this way.

The solution: Create more spaces—online and offline—where men can be honest about their real experiences.

Apps That Changed Lives (Reddit's Recommendations)

Another question asked about life-changing apps. Beyond the obvious (Uber, social media), guys mentioned:

  • Peloton/fitness apps for guided workouts and confidence building

  • Meditation apps for mental health

  • Dating apps (despite the frustrations)

  • TikTok for community and creative expression

One insight: "Peloton has really helped me because it gave me a way to figure out what I should be doing at the gym. When going to the gym is a very intimidating thing for me."

The Book That Keeps Coming Up

When discussing inspiration, one book kept appearing: "Green Lights" by Matthew McConaughey.

Why guys love it: It teaches you to recognize life's natural rhythms—the green light moments when everything flows, the yellow light periods when you're just coasting, and the red light times when you're stuck.

Key insight: "The green lights can't happen without the red lights... I have to hit the ground in order to climb back up."

Building Better Communities for Men

Reddit proves that guys want to share, connect, and support each other—they just need the right environment.

What we need more of:

  • Spaces where vulnerability is normalized

  • Communities that encourage emotional honesty

  • Support systems that don't require anonymity

  • Regular conversations about mental health, insecurities, and growth

The Bottom Line

Reddit revealed something powerful: beneath the surface, guys in their twenties are dealing with the same core issues—insecurity, loneliness, direction uncertainty, and the pressure to have it all figured out.

The most important realization: You're not alone in feeling this way. That anxiety about your future, that insecurity about your appearance, that fear about relationships—it's not just you.

The guys posting anonymously on Reddit are your coworkers, your friends, the confident-seeming guy at the gym. Everyone's fighting battles you can't see.

The challenge: How do we create more spaces where we can have these honest conversations without hiding behind anonymity?

Moving Forward

If you found yourself relating to the Reddit confessions in this post, know that:

  1. Your struggles are valid and shared by many others

  2. Seeking help or support isn't weakness—it's wisdom

  3. Small steps toward change are still progress

  4. You don't have to figure everything out right now

Most importantly: the shame you feel about your insecurities isn't necessary. These feelings are normal, human, and more common than you think.

Want to hear Josh's complete deep dive into Reddit's most revealing questions? This blog post is based on a full Guyset podcast episode where Josh explores what happens when guys get completely anonymous and honest about their struggles. Listen to the complete episode to hear his real-time reactions to Reddit confessions and discover more insights about male vulnerability.

Find the full episode on:

  • Spotify

  • Apple Podcasts

  • Or wherever you listen to podcasts

Looking for more honest conversations about what guys really go through? The Guyset podcast tackles the topics men think about but rarely discuss openly. New episodes drop every Tuesday, covering everything from career anxiety to relationship struggles to mental health.

Remember: The stuff you're most embarrassed about is probably the stuff that would make you feel most connected to others if you shared it.

Related Topics:

  • Mental Health Resources for Young Men

  • Building Genuine Male Friendships

  • Overcoming Social Anxiety in Your Twenties

  • Body Image Issues That Guys Don't Talk About

  • Finding Direction When You Feel Lost

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