Let's talk about ghosting... It's either happened to you, you've done it to someone else, or most likely, both are these things are true. Let's be real, it's happened to all of us so why feel awkward and embarrased about it? I'm here to normalize this conversation for guys in their 20s.

Ghosted: The Modern Dating Phenomenon No One Wants to Talk About

Let's normalize talking about the uncomfortable reality of modern dating that happens to virtually everyone.

Dating in your twenties is challenging enough without the added frustration of being ghosted. You know the scenario: the conversation flows, the chemistry feels real, and then suddenly... nothing. Radio silence. No explanation, no closure—just the digital equivalent of someone walking away mid-conversation. It happens to the best of us, yet we rarely talk about it openly. Why? Because it feels embarrassing to admit someone stopped responding to you.

What Is Ghosting? A Quick Definition

For the uninitiated (though who hasn't experienced this by now?), ghosting is when someone you're talking to—whether you've been on a few dates or are in a situationship—suddenly stops replying without any explanation. No "I don't think this is working," no "I met someone else," just... silence.

It's the digital-age breakup that offers zero closure and maximum confusion.

Why We Don't Talk About Getting Ghosted

As guys, we're particularly hesitant to discuss ghosting because:

• It feels like admitting defeat

• We worry friends will think we're "losers"

• There's pressure to appear unbothered

• We question what we did wrong

• It triggers a cycle of negative self-talk

But here's the truth: almost everyone experiences ghosting at some point. It's practically a modern dating rite of passage.

The Reality of Being on the Receiving End: A Personal Story

I recently went on two dates with someone where the connection seemed undeniable. The first date had that rare, immediate chemistry—the conversation flowed effortlessly, we laughed easily, and there wasn't a single awkward silence. For the second date, remembering she mentioned loving tacos, I suggested a taco and margarita spot near my apartment.

Again, the date went exceptionally well. The conversation felt natural, the chemistry was still there, and I left feeling optimistic about where things might go.

We texted regularly afterward, even throughout a weekend I was away. Then the following week, she mentioned being busy. The weekend after that, she was going away. The week after that? "Busy" again.

I put the ball in her court with a casual "let me know when you're free"—and never heard back.

The Spiral That Follows

When you're ghosted after what felt like a promising connection, your mind becomes your worst enemy:

• "What did I say wrong?"

• "Should I have texted less? More? Faster?"

• "Maybe something I said turned her off"

• "What about me makes me not a 'long-term thing'?"

Each question leads to another, creating a negative thought spiral that can be difficult to escape.

The Truth About Ghosting: It's Not About You

Here's what took me time to realize: Ghosting says more about the ghoster than the ghosted.

When someone ghosts you, they're demonstrating they don't value you or your time enough to provide closure. They're choosing the easiest path—avoiding potential confrontation or discomfort—rather than showing basic respect.

Think about it: If they genuinely cared about you as a person, even if they didn't see romantic potential, wouldn't they at least send a quick text explaining why they're moving on?

Breaking the Cycle: Don't Be the Ghost

Having been on both sides of ghosting, I can admit I've been the ghoster too. In the moment, it feels easier to simply disappear than to craft a potentially awkward rejection message.

But experiencing the sting of being ghosted has changed my perspective. Here's a simple template for ending things respectfully:

"Hi, I had a really great time with you, but I don't see this going any further. I wish you all the best."

Or:

"Hey, I really enjoyed the time we spent together, but I'm not looking to date seriously right now."

Or even:

"I had fun getting to know you, but I'm exploring a connection with someone else that I'd like to see through."

These take 30 seconds to write and save the other person from days of questioning and self-doubt.

Why Dating Is Inherently Vulnerable

At its core, dating requires tremendous vulnerability. You're essentially meeting a stranger and saying, "Here's who I am—my job, my interests, my living situation, my dreams—do you like what you see?"

Rejection in any form hurts, but ghosting adds the extra sting of ambiguity. Did they lose interest? Meet someone else? Get abducted by aliens? (Okay, probably not the last one.)

Moving Forward After Being Ghosted

If you've been ghosted, remember:

1. It's not a reflection of your worth. Someone who ghosts simply isn't mature enough to handle difficult conversations.

2. You're not alone. Virtually everyone in the dating scene has experienced this, even if they don't talk about it.

3. Take a break if needed. It's okay to step back from dating for a week or a month to reset.

4. Don't give up. One (or several) bad experiences doesn't mean you won't find someone who values clear communication.

5. Learn from it. Promise yourself you'll never ghost someone else, breaking the cycle of poor communication.

Normalizing the Conversation

The more we talk openly about experiences like ghosting, the less power they hold over us. That's why I'm sharing my story—not because I want sympathy, but because I want to normalize these conversations among guys in their twenties.

If you've been ghosted, you're not a "loser." You're just someone who put yourself out there, which takes courage. The person who couldn't muster the courage to send a simple text? That's who should be questioning their actions.

The Bottom Line

Dating is hard enough without disappearing acts. While ghosting may seem like the easiest option in the moment, it ultimately shows a lack of maturity and respect. By choosing the slightly more difficult path of clear communication, we can collectively make the dating landscape a little less brutal.

Have you experienced ghosting? How did you handle it? Let us know in the comments below or reach out directly. Because the more we talk about these experiences, the less alone we all feel navigating the complex world of modern dating.

This post was inspired by an episode of Guyset, a guy's guide to what should be talked about. For more honest conversations about dating, relationships, and navigating your twenties, check out the Guyset podcast wherever you listen to podcasts.

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Send in any questions, things you want me to talk about, or things that should be talked about for guys in their 20s to josh@guyset.com or DM me @theguyset on Instagram or TikTok

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See you next Friday.