After college it becomes really hard to stay in touch with all of your friends. With time it becomes even easier to be like "I’ll call them later" or "I’ll see them soon" and then a few days becomes a few weeks and then a few months... and friendships can slowly start to fade and for no better reason besides proximity, distance, and, time. So here are 3 ways to make staying in touch with your friends a priority. 

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How to Stay in Touch with Friends After College: 3 Simple Strategies That Actually Work

Originally shared on the Guyset podcast - a guy's guide to what should be talked about

The Post-College Friendship Challenge

Remember college? You lived next door to your best friends, saw them at parties every weekend, bumped into them between classes, and hung out constantly. Then graduation hit, and suddenly everyone's scattered across the country, starting new jobs, and living completely separate lives.

The transition from seeing friends daily to barely staying in touch is jarring. You go from being on top of each other (not literally) to being completely separated. And honestly? Staying in touch becomes really fucking hard.

Why We Struggle With This

Let's be real about what happens: You think "I'll text them later" or "I'll call them this weekend." But later becomes days, then weeks, then months. Before you know it, it's been a year since you've had a real conversation with someone who was once one of your closest friends.

Don't blame yourself for this. It's not just you - this is incredibly common, especially for guys. While women stereotypically seem better at suggesting lunch dates and coffee catchups, many guys struggle with prioritizing friendships after college.

But just like we need to take care of our skin (even though girls seem naturally better at skincare), we also need to take care of our friendships. Here's how to make staying in touch a priority again.

Strategy 1: Become a Strategic Texter

First, let's address the myth: there's no such thing as being a "bad texter." What there is, however, is being forgetful or not prioritizing text responses.

The iPhone Hack for Forgetful People

If you're someone who reads a text and then completely forgets to respond (guilty as charged), use the "Mark as Unread" feature on iPhone. Instead of forgetting about a message, mark it as unread so it stays visible in your inbox.

The One-to-Two Rule

Make it a goal to reach out to one or two people every other day or every week. Notice I'm not saying "text someone every single day" - that's setting the bar too high and you'll inevitably feel like a failure when you miss days.

Start with something simple:

• "Hey, how you doing?"

• "What's up? How's the job?"

• "How's life treating you?"

You don't need to craft elaborate messages or keep the conversation going for hours. A few minutes of back-and-forth is enough to maintain the connection.

Text Someone Right Now

Seriously, who came to mind when you started reading this article? Stop reading for a second and text that person. I'll wait while you send a quick "Hey, what's up?" message.

Strategy 2: Master the Seven-Minute Call

Here's the game-changer: the seven-minute call. When you haven't talked to someone in a while, the idea of having a full catch-up conversation can feel overwhelming. How do you summarize months of life changes in one call?

Why Seven Minutes Works

Seven minutes feels manageable and accessible. It's not the daunting prospect of setting aside an hour for a deep conversation. You can fit seven minutes into almost any part of your day:

• Walking to or from work

• Driving somewhere

• Folding laundry

• Doing other mindless tasks around the house

• Making dinner

The Beauty of the Time Limit

The seven-minute guideline gives you a natural out if the conversation feels forced, but if things are going well, you can absolutely talk longer. It's not a strict timer - it's just a mental framework that makes the call feel less intimidating.

Perfect Times to Call

• During commutes

• While doing chores

• Weekend mornings

• While cooking

Pro tip: I always call friends while folding clothes or cleaning. It makes boring tasks go faster and helps me stay connected.

Strategy 3: Prioritize In-Person Hangouts

If you live in the same city or area as friends, make it a priority to see one person every two weeks. Not every week (that feels overwhelming) and not once a month (that's too infrequent).

Low-Key Hangout Ideas

You don't need elaborate plans:

• Coffee dates

• Walks in the park

• Lunch or dinner

• Weekend afternoon hangouts

• Weeknight dinners where you can complain about work together

Best Times for Meetups

• Saturday or Sunday afternoons

• Weeknight dinners

• Coffee before work

• Post-work drinks (or mocktails)

For Long-Distance Friendships

If you're not in the same city, substitute in-person hangouts with longer FaceTime calls. Instead of seven-minute calls, plan for 20-30 minute video chats that replicate the experience of hanging out together.

Making It Work in Real Life

Start Small and Build

Don't try to implement all three strategies at once. Pick the one that feels most manageable and start there. Maybe you begin with texting one person per week, then add in monthly calls, then work up to regular hangouts.

The Key Is Consistency

It's better to text one friend every two weeks consistently than to text five friends randomly once every few months. Small, regular effort beats sporadic bursts of communication.

Don't Set Impossible Standards

Remember: the goal isn't perfection. You don't need to maintain daily contact with everyone from college. Focus on the friendships that matter most to you and that feel reciprocal.

Why This Matters

As life gets more complicated - new jobs, relationships, responsibilities - it becomes easier to let friendships slide. But these connections are crucial for:

• Mental health and emotional support

• Professional networking and opportunities

• Having people who knew you before your current life phase

• Maintaining perspective during stressful times

• Simply having fun and feeling connected

Your Action Plan

1. This week: Text one person you've been thinking about

2. Next week: Try a seven-minute call with someone you haven't spoken to in a while

3. This month: Make plans to see one local friend in person

The New Year, New Approach

If you're reading this at the start of the year, consider making friendship maintenance one of your resolutions. But remember - you don't have to start on January 1st. You can start today.

The key is removing the pressure and making staying in touch feel manageable rather than overwhelming. Your friends want to hear from you just as much as you want to hear from them.

The Bottom Line

Staying in touch with friends is hard, but it's not impossible. With these three strategies - strategic texting, seven-minute calls, and regular hangouts - you can rebuild and maintain the connections that matter to you.

Don't put too much pressure on yourself. If you've fallen out of touch with people, that's normal and fixable. Use these tips as a starting point to reconnect with the people who matter to you.

Josh shares more insights about friendship, relationships, and navigating your twenties on the Guyset podcast. New episodes drop every Tuesday with practical advice for guys building meaningful connections.

Ready to reconnect? Pick one person you've been meaning to reach out to and send them a text today. Your friendship is worth those seven minutes.

Thank you for listening! Subscribe. follow, and like the podcast, give this episode 5 stars, and leave a review! Click HERE to connect with Guyset on Instagram, HERE to connect with Guyset on TikTok, HERE to check out Guyset.com, and HERE to watch the full episode on YouTube. You can reach me on Instagram DMs HERE or email josh@guyset.com. See you next Tuesday!