#105 - The What's Next Anxiety
Jun 3, 2025
I've been asking myself "what's next?" constantly lately, and I'm pretty sure you have too. In this episode, I talk about the anxiety that comes with being 25 and feeling like life is one giant transition period that never ends.
I'm moving out of my apartment in less than two months which is my first move in three years and it's got me thinking about how we're always looking ahead instead of appreciating what we have right now. Whether it's wondering what's next for your job, your relationship, your friendships, or where you're going to live, these questions never seem to stop.
If you're feeling overwhelmed by constant change or caught up in always thinking about what's coming next, or what I call the "what's next?" anxiety that defines our twenties, this one's for you. Sometimes the best thing we can do is just look around at what we have today.
Why we're constantly asking ourselves "what's next?" and how to stay present in the moment
If you're in your 20s, you've probably noticed that "What's next?" has become your default mental state. You just had an amazing weekend with friends – what's next? Great first date – what's the next move? Killed it at work – what's the next project? It's like we're programmed to immediately jump from one milestone to the anxiety of achieving the next one.
This constant forward-thinking isn't just normal – it's practically unavoidable in your 20s. But here's the thing: it's also stealing your ability to enjoy what you've actually accomplished.
More: Why "What's Next?" Dominates Your 20s
The Transition Period That Never Ends
Your 20s are essentially one long transition period disguised as multiple smaller transitions. Just when you think you've got your footing – boom – something changes:
Your lease is up and you need to figure out living situations
Friends start moving in with girlfriends or to new cities
Career decisions feel urgent and permanent
Relationships hit milestone moments that demand "where is this going?" conversations
The Two Big Questions Everyone Asks
Think about every catch-up conversation you have. People basically ask about two things:
What are you doing? (Translation: What's your job/career situation?)
How's your dating life? (Translation: Are you in a relationship/when are you getting married?)
These questions create pressure because they assume you should have clear answers and forward momentum in both areas. But the reality is, most of us are figuring it out as we go.
The Comparison Trap
Social media and natural comparison make "what's next?" even more intense. When you see friends getting promoted, moving in together, or hitting traditional milestones, it triggers your own "what's next?" anxiety. Am I behind? Should I be further along? What should my next move be?
The Problem with Living in "What's Next?"
You Miss What You Have Right Now
Here's what happens when you're constantly focused on what's next: these next two months pass you by because you're consumed with what comes after them. You end up never actually experiencing the good stuff because you're too busy worrying about when it will end or what comes next.
The Cycle Never Stops
Even when you get to your "what's next," there's immediately another "what's next?" waiting. Get the new job? What's next for your career? Move in together? What's next for the relationship? It's an endless cycle that keeps you perpetually anxious about the future instead of present in your life.
You Don't Process Your Experiences
We rush from experience to experience without taking time to reflect. You have an amazing weekend, but instead of thinking about how it made you feel or what you learned, you immediately start planning the next thing. This means you miss out on actually integrating your experiences into who you're becoming.
How to Handle "What's Next?" Anxiety
Start Your Day with Gratitude and Presence
Try this morning routine: before you check your phone and get hit with emails, texts, and daily demands, spend 20-30 minutes writing about:
What you're grateful for right now
What you're looking forward to TODAY (not next week or next month)
How you're feeling in this moment
This practice helps ground you in the present before your mind starts racing toward future anxieties.
Reflect Before Moving Forward
When something good happens or you finish an experience, resist the urge to immediately jump to "what's next?" Instead, ask yourself:
About the experience:
How did this make me feel?
What did I learn about myself?
Do I want to do more of this or less?
About the people involved:
Did these people increase my energy or drain it?
Did I feel better about myself after spending time with them?
Do I want to prioritize more time with them?
About what to carry forward:
What worked well that I want to replicate?
What would I do differently next time?
How can I apply what I learned to future situations?
Practice "Today-Focused" Thinking
Instead of asking "Where do I see myself in 5 years?" (which is impossible to answer accurately anyway), focus on smaller timeframes:
What do I want to accomplish today?
What am I looking forward to this week?
How do I want to feel at the end of this month?
This keeps you goal-oriented without getting lost in overwhelming long-term planning.
Talk About Your Feelings (Yes, Really)
This might be the most important point: guys rarely talk about how we're actually feeling during transitions. We'll mention that we're moving or changing jobs, but we won't say "I'm actually pretty anxious about this" or "I'm nervous about living alone for the first time."
Try being honest about your feelings:
"I'm excited about this change but also kind of nervous"
"This transition is bringing up more anxiety than I expected"
"I'm worried about how this will affect our friendship"
You'll probably find that your friends are feeling similar things and are relieved to have someone else bring it up first.
The Gift of Your 20s Transition Period
You're Learning How to Handle Change
While it feels overwhelming now, all these "what's next?" moments are actually teaching you invaluable skills:
How to make decisions with incomplete information
How to handle uncertainty and ambiguity
How to adapt when plans change
How to stay connected to people through life transitions
You're Discovering What Actually Matters
Each transition teaches you something about your values, priorities, and what kind of life you want to build. The anxiety is uncomfortable, but it's also information about what matters to you.
You're Building Resilience
Every time you navigate a "what's next?" successfully, you prove to yourself that you can handle uncertainty. This builds confidence for future transitions throughout your life.
Practical Strategies for Right Now
When You Catch Yourself in "What's Next?" Mode
Pause and breathe – literally take three deep breaths
Name what you're feeling – "I'm anxious about my lease ending"
Identify what you can control today – "I can look at three apartments online"
Do one small thing – take one action that moves you forward without overwhelming yourself
Create "Present Moment" Anchors
Develop daily practices that pull you back to the present:
Take photos of ordinary moments you want to remember
Text a friend about something good that happened today
Write down one thing you're grateful for each night
Take a walking route that you really enjoy and pay attention to what you see
Reframe the Uncertainty
Instead of "I don't know what's next and that's terrifying," try "I don't know what's next and that means anything is possible." The uncertainty that creates anxiety is the same uncertainty that creates opportunity.
The Bottom Line
"What's next?" anxiety is normal, universal, and probably not going away anytime soon. But you don't have to let it steal your present moment. Your 20s are packed with transitions, but they're also packed with experiences, growth, and connections that deserve your full attention.
The goal isn't to stop thinking about the future – it's to balance future planning with present-moment awareness. Make your plans, but don't live there. Think about what's next, but don't forget to notice what's now.
Remember: These months you're in right now? You'll never have them exactly like this again. The apartment you're in, the friends you're with, the phase of life you're experiencing – it's all temporary, which makes it precious.
Stop rushing through today to get to tomorrow. Tomorrow will come regardless. But today only happens once.
Feeling overwhelmed by your own "what's next?" moments?
Listen to Guyset: Real conversations about navigating your 20s, new episodes every Tuesday
Get daily perspective: Visit guyset.com for more advice on handling life transitions and quarter-life anxiety
Connect with others going through it:
Email: josh@guyset.com
Social: @theguyset across all platforms
Share your "what's next?" anxieties – you're definitely not alone
Going through a major life transition? Your story and how you're handling it could help another guy facing something similar.
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