The Art of the Introduction

I unpack what really makes a first impression stick, and how mastering the art of introducing yourself can change everything.

You ever have one of those moments that replays in your head for days? The kind where you walk away thinking, I could have done that so much better.

That was me a few weeks ago. I was at an event, saw someone I really admired, a movie producer whose work I’ve followed for years, and told myself, this is my chance.

I spent half the night debating it, overthinking every possible outcome.

“I was asking everybody I was with, should I go up and say hi? Should I not?”

When I finally did, everything I planned to say disappeared. I tapped him on the shoulder, stumbled through an introduction, and within seconds turned what could’ve been a cool moment into an awkward memory.

“I just kept picking up the ball and dropping it and picking up the ball and dropping it again and again.”

He was polite. I was nervous. I asked a dumb question about a movie he produced, as if he hadn’t seen it. He smiled, answered, and that was that. No connection. No follow-up. Just a perfectly humbling moment of social failure.

When You Try Too Hard to Be Natural

I didn’t walk away feeling embarrassed as much as I felt aware. I realized how easy it is to overthink the smallest human moment. I had built that introduction up in my head like a career-defining moment. It wasn’t. It was just a guy trying to say hi to another guy.

But I made it feel bigger than it was, and that’s where confidence usually cracks.

“It’s a skill that I am consistently working on and something that I think I will always be working on, the art of introducing yourself.”

When I looked back at it later, I realized how often we all do this. Whether it’s walking up to someone at an event, texting someone new, or saying hi to a girl you like, we talk ourselves out of it because we’re afraid of how it’ll go.

And when we finally do it, we get so in our heads trying to look confident that we forget to actually be ourselves.

If this part hits home, you’ll probably also connect with How to Talk to Girls Without Overthinking It, where I dive into that same tension between confidence and authenticity.

Confidence Isn’t About Being Smooth

The biggest lesson I pulled from that night was that confidence doesn’t mean being effortless. It means being prepared enough to stay present.

I wasn’t. I had no plan. I just winged it and hoped it would click.

“If I had a little bit more of a fallback or something really prepared, maybe that would have helped me.”

You don’t need a script. That’s the fastest way to sound robotic. But having one clear thing to say or ask gives you direction. Whether it’s a job event, a first date, or a random social moment, a little prep beats trying to improvise your way through nerves.

That’s what I wish I’d done. Had one real reason for saying hi and one question that actually added value.

If you’re trying to build that kind of self-trust, I talk about it more in How to Build Confidence from Scratch.

Awkward Is Part of the Process

There’s a reason I’m telling this story. It’s not because it’s special. It’s because it’s normal.

We all have these cringe moments. We overthink. We freeze. We replay them later and cringe again. But every one of those moments is a rep. It’s practice.

“I really am happy I did that because I now learned that I have a lot to improve on in terms of introducing myself.”

That’s the part no one talks about. Confidence isn’t built in your wins. It’s built in the recoveries. The times you walk away embarrassed and still show up again the next time.

The Universal Skill Nobody Teaches

The more I thought about it, the more I realized this skill applies everywhere.

In dating, it’s the moment before you walk over to someone at a bar. In work, it’s how you message someone on LinkedIn. In friendships, it’s introducing yourself at an event.

Each version has one thing in common. You never feel fully ready.

But introductions are the small hinges that open big doors. They’re how you meet mentors, friends, partners, collaborators, people who might change your life. Yet no one teaches you how to do it.

“No one teaches you how to really present yourself or pitch yourself or ask for something.”

So you figure it out through trial and error. Through awkward pauses and shaky hellos. Through moments that make you want to sink into the floor and others that remind you it’s not that deep.

For more on why these small, messy moments matter, check out What to Do When You Feel Behind in Your 20s.

What I’ve Learned Since

If I could redo that night, I wouldn’t change the awkwardness. I’d just be more prepared for it. I’d remind myself that it’s not about the perfect line. It’s about being present, polite, and interested.

Next time, I’ll lead with curiosity instead of fear. I’ll have one thought-out way to follow up, even something simple like, “It was great meeting you, I’d love to stay in touch.”

That’s it. That’s the art of the introduction.

You don’t need to master every moment. You just need to be willing to try again.

“It’s never better to stay wondering. I’d always rather at least try and then build from there.”

Why This Episode Matters

This episode isn’t about networking or social hacks. It’s about human connection. About the tension between wanting to be seen and fearing how we’ll come across. About why saying hi is such a small act that takes such big courage.

If you’ve ever replayed a conversation in your head, this one’s for you.

Because every awkward moment teaches you something, and that’s how you get smoother next time.

Want to hear the full story?

Listen to The Art of the Introduction on Spotify or Apple Podcasts.
Then check out the rest of the series:
👉 7 Lessons I Learned About Confidence
👉 How to Introduce Yourself Without Overthinking It (Q&A)
👉 Episode Landing Page