How to Know If Your Drinking Is Actually Normal in Your 20s

Someone asked me how often I drink.

Instead of giving a clean, polished answer, I’ll give you the honest one.

I drink what I’d call a pretty normal amount for a 25-year-old guy. Mostly weekends. Sometimes Thursday. Occasionally midweek if something’s happening.

But that’s not really the question.

The real question is this: how do you know if the way you drink is normal, slightly off, or quietly becoming something else?

What “Normal” Drinking Actually Looks Like

For me, it’s usually Friday and Saturday. Thursday if there’s a social thing. Sometimes midweek if friends are in town or there’s an event.

It changes depending on my schedule, my stress level, and what’s going on in my life.

When doctors ask, “How often do you drink?” most people answer with words like sometimes or socially. But what they’re really asking is how much and why.

Context matters more than the number.

If you tend to overthink whether you’re doing life “right,” How Do I Choose a Career Path When I Have No Idea What I Want applies here too. Drinking habits are often a mirror, not the problem itself.

Signs You’re Probably Fine

Most guys in their twenties drink socially. That part alone isn’t the issue.

The difference is control.

You’re probably in a healthy place if:

• You decide when and how much you drink

• Alcohol isn’t interfering with work, goals, or routines

• You’re not drinking to escape or numb out

• You can skip weekends without spiraling

• You’re not waking up anxious about what you said or did

If that sounds like you, you’re likely fine.

But if you’re unsure, that’s worth paying attention to.

When Drinking Starts to Drift

This is where things get quieter and easier to ignore.

• You drink to manage stress or emotions

• You drink alone more than you admit

• Friends or family have commented on it

• Work or focus slips because of hangovers

• The idea of not drinking makes you uneasy

If any of that hits, pause.

You don’t need a disaster to justify a change. Awareness is enough.

This is the same pattern I talk about in Why Consistency Feels So Hard Even When You Care. When something becomes a crutch instead of a choice, it’s worth looking at.

The Control Test

Ask yourself one simple question:

Can I choose not to drink and still enjoy myself?

If saying no feels heavy, stressful, or impossible, that’s information.

Not judgment. Information.

That same kind of self-control is the foundation of real confidence. The kind that comes from owning your choices instead of reacting to pressure.

Why Drinking Feels So Tied to Your 20s

Drinking isn’t just about alcohol. It’s about everything wrapped around it.

• Social pressure. Most hangouts involve drinking

• Career pressure. Some jobs treat it like networking

• Stress pressure. Life moves fast and drinking feels like relief

• Comparison pressure. Social media makes it look constant

When everyone’s doing it, questioning it can feel weird. But that’s usually when it matters most.

The National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA) explains that many people don’t recognize problematic patterns early because they blend in socially. Normalized doesn’t always mean healthy.

A Story That Changed How I Look at It

I did an episode with my friend Brian who stopped drinking after college.

Not because things were “out of control,” but because alcohol was quietly making life harder, not easier.

“I was drinking not just socially, but to cope. And I realized I was tired of needing something to feel okay.”

He quit completely. And he’ll tell you it was one of the best decisions he made for his mental health and relationships.

That stuck with me.

Not everyone needs to quit. But everyone should understand their why.

Finding Your Own Balance

Ask yourself honestly:

• Do I actually enjoy drinking, or just feel expected to?

• How do I feel about myself the next day?

• Would I be comfortable going out sober?

• Is alcohol adding to my life or quietly taking from it?

There’s no perfect answer. Just honesty.

If confidence feels tied to keeping up socially, How Do I Act Confident When I Don’t Feel Confident connects directly to this.

How to Drink Smarter (If You Still Want To)

If you’re keeping alcohol in your life:

• Set limits you’ll actually follow

• Alternate with water

• Don’t make every hangout revolve around drinking

• Practice saying no without explaining yourself

And if you’re questioning your relationship with it:

• Take a month off and notice how you feel

• Talk to someone you trust

• Consider therapy if stress or control feels heavy

Questioning it doesn’t mean you’re broken. It means you’re paying attention.

When to Ask for Help

If you’ve tried cutting back and can’t, or if drinking is affecting work, health, or relationships, talk to someone.

A friend.
A therapist.
A professional.

You don’t need to hit rock bottom to raise your hand.

The Bottom Line

Being honest about drinking isn’t about shame. It’s about awareness.

If you feel in control, great.
If you’re questioning it, that’s growth.

There’s no award for keeping up with everyone else.

Your twenties are about figuring out what actually works for you. And that includes how alcohol fits into your life, or whether it does at all.

Sometimes the best move isn’t quitting forever.

It’s just choosing a better way to feel good.

FAQ:

Is it normal to drink every weekend in your 20s?
Yes. Weekend drinking is common. What matters is whether you feel in control and it’s not hurting your life.

How do I know if my drinking is becoming a problem?
If you drink to cope, feel anxious about not drinking, or notice it affecting work or relationships, it’s worth paying attention.

Do I need to quit drinking to be healthier?
No. Some people feel fine drinking socially, others feel better cutting back. Awareness matters more than labels.

Is drinking alone always a bad sign?
Not always. It becomes a concern if it’s how you manage stress or emotions.

Is it okay to question my drinking even if nothing feels “wrong”?
Yes. Questioning habits is a sign of self-awareness, not a problem.